Toxic people. They live and walk among us. Toxic people defy logic. Many are blissfully unaware of the negative impact they have on those around them, but others seem to enjoy the satisfaction from creating drama and pushing people’s buttons. They get pleasure from the chaos they cause and have the ability to make you believe it’s all your fault. However you spin it, toxic people create unnecessary strife, and worst of all stress.
A toxic person often blames others for their irrational behavior, and will never take accountability for their mistakes. They’re the first to point out someone else’s mistakes, they love to gossip under the guise of “telling it like it is”, and they belittle others, and are quick to distrust anyone with authority.
The main goal of a toxic person is to be a thorn in your side. They are happy and feel powerful when they see their antics have rattled you. It’s easy to spot a toxic person by how they try to make you feel badly about yourself, never inquire sincerely about you, or suck up all the air when they walk into a room.
Toxic people have an emotional impact on your personal relationships, and your overall well-being. If you allow their negative behavior to influence your mood, that will inevitably affect how you act. Toxic people may never change, but the good news is you can. Learn 6 ways to disarm toxic people below, and take back your power and peace.
1. Set Limits (Especially with Complainers)
Toxicity can come in several different forms. Most toxic people are complainers and negative Nancy’s. All they seem to do is wallow in their problems, and fail to focus on solutions. They actively share what’s bothering them, because they want people to join their pity party. Misery really loves company and attention. People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to come across as rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a listening ear, and getting sucked into their negative web. To avoid this, you must set limits with toxic people. A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in another direction.
2. Move On Without Them
If you know someone who is incapable of changing their toxic, energy draining ways, then you eventually need to make a conscious decision to move on without them. If you are suffering because of their attitude, and your compassion, patience, advice, and general attentiveness doesn’t seem to help them, it may be time to ask yourself, “Do I need this person in my life?” Remember the people you allow and keep in your life are your choice. You have the power to select who you invite into your life. Your life and peace are priceless. When you delete toxic people from your life you’ll be amazed by how much easier it is to breathe. Be strong and know when enough is enough! Letting go of toxic people doesn’t mean you hate them, or that you wish them harm, it simply means you care more about your own well-being, and that should always be your first priority.
3. Don’t Pretend Their Toxic Behavior Is Ok
Toxic people often use their moody behavior to get preferential treatment. They’ve learned that many people will waver and let them get their way, because it’s easier to quiet them down than to listen to their complaining. When you do this, you are put a band aide on a wound that is bound to reopen. This is not a solution. Toxic people don’t change if they are being rewarded for their moodiness. It’s time to take a stand, and stop walking on egg shells around them. Let them know their behavior is not ok, and if they disagree you now have a clear choice to continue pacifying them or saving your sanity and distancing yourself from them.
4. Don’t Take It Personal
You know that saying “It’s them, not you.” This is 100% accurate when it comes to dealing with a toxic person. It is definitely them, and not you. You are not crazy. Toxic people will usually try to flip it back on you that somehow, you’ve done something wrong. Toxic people love pressing your guilty button. It’s a manipulative tactic, because majority of people do not like to be made to feel guilty. Don’t let this happen to you. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes when you take nothing personally. Toxic people behave negatively not just to you, but to everyone they encounter. Remember, hurt people, hurt people. Don’t take it personal ever.
5. Rise Above
Toxic people enjoy driving you crazy. Their behavior is often irrational and selfish. Knowing this, why would you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally, and get sucked into their drama? Learn to rise above toxic people, by simply responding with silence, walking away, or not answering their calls. Stop trying to teach them how to be better or try to beat them at their own game. For your sanity and the well-being of the other relationships in your life, rise above their mess.
6. Keep Calm
Toxic people want you to be emotional, because typically that’s when it’s the easiest to manipulate and confuse you. They love to get a rise out of you. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Keep calm, take a deep breath, breathe, and talk only when you’re not emotionally frazzled. It’s only when you feel calm and grounded you have the upper hand and are able to spot toxic people, and handle them accordingly. When you keep your calm, you’re keeping your power.