“Stop criticizing yourself for everything you aren’t and start appreciating yourself for everything you are.” ~Unknown
Are you kind to yourself? Are you your own best friend, your own worst critic, or somewhere in between? Do you tend to focus on what you believe are your flaws, and mistakes, comparing yourself to others you perceive are better than you? In today’s world of 24-hour news, tons of social media consumption, and a bombardment of advertisement coming from all directions, it’s very easy to get trapped in this way of thinking. We’re trained to constantly compare ourselves, leading us to believe we’re not enough. It’s no surprise that you may find it hard to be kind to yourself.
For many, you understand the concept of kindness from the perspective of how you treat others, such as your family, friends, and even strangers. But what if you to took that same approach to how you treat yourself? How would your health improve if you listened to your body’s signals and responded with care and compassion? How would your life pursuits look if you chose to pursue the things that set your heart on fire, instead of doing things to impress others? How would your mental health improve if you honored the thoughts in your mind, and gave yourself grace and permission to rest or meditate?
So how can you begin to cultivate kindness for yourself? It starts by ending the tug-of-war inside yourself. Stop evaluating your life in only black and white. When you do this, you criticize yourself whenever you feel “bad” or “negative” emotions, and whenever you don’t feel “good” or “positive” emotions. Realize that your negative self-talk is an exercise in futility. It will never boost your happiness, improve your health, or inspire yourself towards progress. It will only spark shame within you and sink you deeper into inaction and guilt.
It’s completely normal to feel like it’s an uphill climb to get out of that emotional and mental rut and be kind to yourself. Fortunately, there are many tools at your disposal for resetting your attitude. Below are 9 ways to be kind to yourself that you can start to implement into your routine that will grow your self-compassion even more.
1. Take a Small Step Towards Something Positive
Having a blah day or feeling a little blue, then take one small step towards something positive. Begin to research a trip you’d like to take. Setup a walk you can take with a friend. Look into how you can enhance your career or try that new hobby you’ve been putting off. By taking a small step, you are breathing new hope, life, and optimism into your day and week.
2. The Future is Still in Your Hands - It’s Never Too Late to Change
Stuck in the could’ve/would’ve/should’ve loop. Get yourself off that never-ending loop, and instead think about what you’d like your future to look like. What’s happened is over. It can’t be undone, but you can always create something new for your future. What would you like to create for you? Better health? A wonderful relationship? A business? Regardless of whatever it is, look ahead instead of behind. You have so much more in front of you, than you did behind you.
3. Health is Wealth - Take Care of Your Health
One of the easiest ways to be kind to yourself is to take care of yourself. You only get one mind and one body. When you’re unkind to yourself, or down in the dumps your body physically hangs onto this negative energy and emotions. In order to clear and change that energy you need to move your body. This can be as simple as just going for a walk around your neighborhood or taking a hike on a trail. You may be interested in trying out a yoga class online, or another type of virtual fitness class. There are so many options to choose from, just make sure you feel good while doing it, and you authentically enjoy it.
4. Buy Yourself Flowers Just Because
Ever heard the expression, “Give people their flowers while they’re here.” Well this can also be applied to you. A small gesture to honor yourself and show yourself kindness is by buying yourself some flowers. You don’t have to buy several bouquets, buy as much or as little as you’d like. There is great power in treating yourself, and yes even a small gesture as buying flowers for yourself is powerful. It’s an act of love you show yourself whenever you do it. By treating yourself you raise your vibration, and can bring more joy, happiness, and peace into your life.
5. Cut Out What & Who Doesn’t Serve You Well
Often times practicing self-kindness is about cutting the cords of what no longer brings you joy in life. This can be a habit, thought pattern, diet, job, or even a person. Understand it’s not only ok to walk away from anything or anyone bringing you down, it is your right! You’ll be pleasantly surprised that when you begin to let go of things that do not serve you, it’ll open you up to more positive and loving things to enter into your life.
6. Learn to Forgive Yourself
Do you find it easier to forgive others instead of yourself? Are you often your own worst critic? Often times you are so much harder on yourself than you realize. Beating yourself up, and placing unnecessary guilt on you, is not productive or positive. Practicing self-forgiveness is one of the most loving and kind acts you can show yourself. When you get caught up in self-blame, take a moment to pause and think about how you would comfort a friend dealing with the same situation. Honor yourself and the fact that you are doing the best you can. No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. This is simply a part of the human experience. Be kind to yourself by forgiving yourself.
7. Always Respect Yourself
Self-respect is one of the most powerful ways to show kindness to yourself. You are special, powerful, and worthy, just by being yourself. Respecting yourself requires you to value who you are, and not allow others to define your value. Your gift is that there is and will only ever be one of you. Don’t lower your vibration by allowing others to disrespect you, or by you comparing yourself to others. Keep your promises to yourself and follow through on what you tell yourself that you’re going to do.
8. Go After Your Dreams
If you respect yourself, and are kind to yourself, then you know there’s nothing to stop you from accomplishing your dreams. When you’re kind to yourself you honor your dreams, and you never talk down about them. Your dreams for yourself aren’t over the top, or childish fantasies. Your dreams are actually a blueprint or guide to what you can manifest into your life, by creating a plan and taking inspired action on them.
9. Stop Trying to Attain Perfection – It Does Not Exist!
Want to know the quickest way to set yourself up for failure? Try and be perfect. In case you weren’t aware, perfection is unattainable. Placing the burden of being perfect on yourself, is one of the least kind things you can do to yourself. You may feel the need to be perfect coming from the media, society, or even from your friends and family. But please understand, you ultimately are placing this unachievable goal on yourself. Instead of aiming to be perfect, how about you aim to simply take one day at a time being the best you can be. By putting your best foot forward, and also offering yourself grace in the process. You were made to be human, not to be perfect.